


Tech

by Laura JV (jacquez)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Gen, Trope Subversion/Inversion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2013-05-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 02:15:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/818786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacquez/pseuds/Laura%20JV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not the robot," Sid said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tech

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thefourthvine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefourthvine/gifts).



"What," said Geno, as Sid stopped short upon entering the locker room. He looked over Sid's shoulder; Iggy was lying on a bench, stark naked, staring up at nothing. 

"Fuck," said Sid, and then "Flower," low and intense.

Flower looked over, his pads half-on. "Tanger already went for the toolkit," he said.

Sid nodded. "Had to be during the playoffs," he muttered, bending over Iggy and poking him repeatedly in the eye.

"What the fuck," said Geno, "why--"

Sid rolled Iggy off the bench onto the floor and sat on his bare ass. He slid his fingernails down Iggy's back with a look of concentration, then stripped off his suit jacket and good shirt.

"What the _fuck_ ," repeated Geno. He felt as though he'd lost command of English and that was the only phrase that'd stuck. He waved a hand in front of Sid's face, and Sid just batted it away; he turned to Flower. "Flower. Little help."

Flower grinned. "You know that joke where Sid is a Canadian hockey robot?"

Geno rolled his eyes. "Robots not bleed," he said. "Not lose teeth. Not get concussion."

Flower's grin sharpened. "Iggy's never had a concussion."

Tanger elbowed Geno out of the way. "Hey, Sid," he said, and dropped a large case next to Sid's right hand.

"Thanks," Sid said, and flipped it open, leaving his left index finger resting below Iggy's shoulderblade. The case was full of tools Geno didn't recognize, neatly organized in padded slots. Sid took out something that looked like a scalpel had mated with a chisel, and drove it down into Iggy's back, right next to his finger. Geno yelped and leapt forward, then tried to reverse in midair as--

\--a fucking _hatch_ opened up in Iggy's back, exposing metal rods beneath.

"What the fuck," he said, again, looking desperately from Flower (whose grin was now positively sharklike) to Tanger (holding a flashlight on the hole in Iggy's back) to Sid (still sitting on Iggy's ass). Sid hummed to himself, slipped on a pair of latex gloves, and selected a weird-looking...wrench...thing from the padded case and started doing something to the metal rods.

"I'm not the robot," Sid said, sliding his left hand into Iggy's back. "FUCK we need to get another qualified tech on this team; this is going to fuck up my hands for a game at least. Tanger, finish up your apprenticeship this summer, man."

"I take my exam in July," said Tanger, squatting down next to Sid, keeping the light steady. "But I never work on a model this old."

"Not that different," Sid said. "And he's in pretty good shape for his age, honestly."

"What the fuck?" Geno said, plaintively. Tanger squinted up on him, and he could see the moment that Tanger decided to have pity on him and tell him what the _actual fuck was going on_.

"Canada has a pretty advanced hockey robotics program," he said. "You know robot soccer? It's like that, but with hockey robots."

"Cyborgs, technically," said Flower. "I mean, they were human to start with, I thought."

"It's nothing like robot soccer, Tanger," Sid said, "you're going to fail your exam if you don't even know that." He stripped gloves covered in blood and some yellowish fluid from his hands. "Give him a few to cycle through the self-test," he said, handing the wrench-thing to Tanger. "Do a standard diagnostic while I'm changing and check with me about anything that seems odd."

"Will do," said Tanger, and slid the hatch on Iggy's back closed while Sid headed to his stall.

After a moment, Iggy raised his head, blinked, and pressed himself up to kneeling. "What the fuck," he said.

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely ridiculous.


End file.
